Rio
It's highly unlikely that hotel planners sit down with their architects and say "How can we make it as difficult as possible for guests to get around?". And yet, many Vegas resorts are so poorly laid out that you may find yourself questioning whether it's deliberate. Entrance through the back, reservation desk in the very front, long hauls through the casino, and marathon treks down unbelievably long corridors...that's the norm, not the exception
The situation gets even more frustrating once additional towers are added to an original building. Such is the case with Rio Las Vegas. Depending on whether you park in their original north garage or east-facing Masquerade garage, you'll need to navigate twisting corridors or banks of escalators before reaching the main interior. Then it's a parade through the casino to find the front desk, which is always understaffed (automated kiosks rarely work, too). After receiving your keys and a property map, it's back through the casino to either the original Ipanema Tower or the instantly recognizable Masquerade Tower.
If you absolutely must stay at Rio, be sure to apply for a free Caesars Rewards player card. Members often receive Rio rates of only $10 per night, not including a mind-boggling $35 per night (plus tax) resort fee. As the lowest-tier property on Caesars' portfolio, you can expect negligible drink service, a skeleton crew, duct tape-quality maintenance, frequently-closed restaurants, and dwindling amenities. And don't forget that Rio's Voodoo Beach recently earned a place on our list as one of the worst pools in the city.
The Linq
The Linq Hotel takes Rio's multi-tower footprint dilemma and amplifies it to the Nth degree. Previously known as The Quad, Imperial Palace, and Flamingo Capri before that, this Swastika-shaped nightmare once topped out at 2,637 rooms until the "Capri" section was leveled. That brought it down to 2,250 guest rooms spread out over so many towers that it's doubtful anyone knows the exact count (just kidding).
The Linq's always-flooding parking structure is just as convoluted as the hotel itself. Comprised of two sections that do but don't exactly connect (it has to be seen to be believed), it's possible for you to see your car from where you're standing yet still be unable to reach it. If that happens, you'll need to take an elevator to the ground floor, then try again by rising in a different elevator.
The same holds true of the hotel corridors....depending on what part of this ugly-ass resort you're assigned to, you may have to walk through the casino to the shopping promenade, then take an escalator to an elevator that takes you to another set of escalators to arrive at your final elevators. This time I'm really not kidding.
Since The Linq's parking garage is in the far rear of the building and the reservation desk is at the far front, you have to figure out how to get inside, walk through the entire property, stand in an always-lengthy line to receive your keys, then follow a map to your assigned "zone". The desk agent will trace your path through Hotel Hell with a Sharpie. Follow the path very carefully...otherwise, you might not be found for days. Avoid this chaotic mess at all costs.
Caesars Palace
Caesars Palace gained newfound popularity a decade ago thanks to "The Hangover". Hollywood's box-office smash forever immortalized the question "Did Caesar live here?". If the Roman dictator had indeed visited, he'd undoubtedly give a "thumbs down" to this chaotic mess for its layout. Just like the others, it's "Parking garage back here, reservation desk a mile away, towers all over the place and a crazy path through the casino to get to them".
Vegas tourism boards often list Caesars Palace as the easiest casino to get lost in, and with good reason. Along with the resort itself, there is the massive Colosseum , Appian Way Shopping Promenade, and the huge Forum Shops. There are ten bars, twenty-two restaurants, seven pools, a spa/salon and over 3,500 guest rooms. If you're so inclined, you could spend your entire vacation without ever setting foot outside. Just don't lose that property map or you might miss your flight back home.
Planet Hollywood
The fourth resort on our list also happens to also be the fourth Caesars property (if there's a connection here, it's lost on me). Planet Hollywood was once the world-famous Aladdin until it was renamed in 2007. The movie-themed resort boasts over 2,400 guest rooms spread out across 64,400 square feet of space. And yet, it doesn't have its own parking garage.
When arriving at Planet Hollywood by car, you have two choices: 1) enter the underground valet access and wait your turn in the clusterfuck line, or 2) opt to self-park at Miracle Mile Shops. Yes, you have to use a mall garage to store your car while staying at Planet Hollywood. And thanks to corporate greed, the structure recently converted to being a paid facility.
Grab your bags, head for Miracle Mile Shops, then pick a direction. Whether you go to the left or right, you'll eventually arrive at the casino, but keep in mind that Miracle Mile is literally 1.2 miles of walking...with your suitcases, past dozens of stores, and through hundreds of shoppers and their children.
Once inside the casino, look for the escalators that take you down into the basement. That's where the reservation desk is. Then it's back upstairs to find your room. Are you tired yet?
Paris/Bally's
Caesars Entertainment makes a clean sweep of this list with the two-fer of Bally's and Paris. Why do I list them together? Because they share one parking structure equidistant between the two resorts. Situated in the far rear of the complex (naturally), the parking garage is connected by a pedestrian corridor to an escalator that drops you off at ground level. From there, walk forward for Paris or turn right towards Bally's.
No matter where you're headed, you'll be schlepping your bags through a promenade of shops and restaurants, then through the casino before finding the reservation desk. After that, you'll reverse directions and trudge through the casino to your elevators.
Bally's has two towers, one close to the Strip, and the other far on the opposite side. Ask for the South Tower, which has great views of the Bellagio Fountain and is closest to the reservation desk. At Paris, all 2,600 rooms are serviced by the same elevator bank. To save some steps, just ask for a room that isn't at the end of your corridor.
For our list of easy access resorts that get you from arrival to your room in no time, click here.
Do you have helpful information for Vegas guests facing mobility issues? Perhaps a nightmare experience that you'd want others to avoid? If so, leave a comment below or post a message on our official Vegas 411 Facebook page.