WORST OF LAS VEGAS 2021 - Part Two

MOST UNWELCOME CAREER EXPANSION - Criss Angel

In today's culture, the more repulsive a human being is, the more likely he/she is to become rich and famous. Lying, cheating, adultery, theft, an illegitimate child or two, and nauseating arrogance....perfect ingredients for rock stardom, political power, or a headlining gig on the Las Vegas Strip. Christopher Nicholas Sarantakos falls into the third category. Changing his name to "Criss Angel", this swaggering snot rode the fame train to a massive mansion in the hills, albeit on the back of one of his many custom-built motorcycles. The fact that he's despised by nearly every human being who's ever met him hasn't slowed down this reprobate's career in the slightest. Sign of the times, baby.

Last year, while you and I were rationing toilet paper and eating canned soup, this rotten excuse for a human being applied for AND RECEIVED eleven million dollars in no-obligation government aid (read my expose here). Before you could say "abracadabra", the diminutive Moira Rose knock-off was opening a Schitt's Creek-style diner in the middle of the desert. Then came news of an expensive new spin-off show at Planet Hollywood. Let's hope that his next enterprise isn't a rundown motor inn...we already have the Clown Motel in Tonopah. Grow up, Miss Criss, and retire the sunglasses-at-night bullshit already. You look like an ass.

BIGGEST FARCE - City-Wide Road Work

The next time you're out and about, head down to the world-famous "Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas" sign. Actually, the challenge will be to physically get there. The biggest landmark in the city is an absolute clusterfuck of closed lanes. heavy equipment, barriers, and trenches. That's what visitors are greeted by upon their arrival. 

It doesn't matter where you are or where you are headed....you'll be dealing with road construction all along the way. Every single section of the Las Vegas valley is simultaneously undergoing road work. The Strip, Downtown, the Arts District, the interstates, residential neighborhoods, and business districts...it's freaking EVERYWHERE! The biggest question is "WTF are they actually doing?". You'll witness cones and barrels going up, with three or four lanes being brought down to one. Traffic snarls make thousands of people late every day, but good luck trying to identify any actual progress or improvements. The guys just stand around smoking and talking. Then after a few months, they redirect traffic to the once-closed lanes and start the farce all over again.

You'll notice that I've avoided using the term "road improvements" because NOTHING is actually ever improved. 2020 would have been the perfect time for vital infrastructure to undergo necessary maintenance. But apparently, road crews were locked in their homes along with everyone else. As soon as businesses and casinos began to reopen, roads started to close. Millions upon millions of dollars are going into these projects with no discernible purpose. It's our money, but we're the ones paying for major inconvenience.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, everyone. May 2022 be prosperous, healthy, and full of Sin City joy!